a fading moment ...

Another lonely night ...another fading moment... infront of the dumb-screen...
my senses going numb ...thoughts of people, of land.. far ... far away ....
they are fading ...slowly fading away...

Is that what is life all about ? living this pseudo-reality?
work...eat...work ... watch tv ... eat ... sleep ..work ....

Its been ages, since I have felt at peace with myself .. I don't know if I am
going to post this ..but I am writing this .. to perhaps bring out what is there
in me ... to make me feel lighter ..

"tere bina"...its a beautiful song .. that's the one playing currently on the media-player...
lights in the room are dim ... air is filled with the aroma of an spices from the indian dal made sometime back ..

Reminds me of a not-so-distant afternoon... a lazy sunday afternoon ...me waking up from sleep in the late hours of morning...with sunrays falling on my face and filling up the room ..

I go out on the terrace ... its a cold winter afternoon .... my brothers are around and I am playing pranks with them ... we are fighting over who is is to inside and get some munchies .. as usual .. iam the bada-bhai (big bro)... and I win.. finally my youngest brother, the lowest in the pecking order is to get them ... mamma is calling us from the kitchen... she is scolding us to come in and eat the brunch ... 

It seems to be yesterday...but sad ....its past and a one gone long .. 

gone perhaps .. to never come back ...

I wish ... time could freeze ... 

I so very often have wished ... if time could freeze..

alas that's the last thing that could happen.

Tears and Rain - James Blunt

Hey all ... its been a long ..long time .. since i posted ...
To begin with go and listen to this song and tell me if it strikes a chord somewhere down your heart...down your soul..


How I wish I could surrender my soul;
Shed the clothes that become my skin;
See the liar that burns within my needing.
How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I've found no meaning.

I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;
Hold memory close at hand,
Help me understand the years.
How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.
How I wish I would save my soul.
I'm so cold from fear.

I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
Far, far away; find comfort in pain.
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.